Monday, June 29, 2015

"Stocked Up"

I had a short day today and got parked fairly early. So I went inside to grab a bite to eat after I took the dogs for a walk. Those of you who know me know I've gotta have my milk. None of that 2% stuff; I want 100% milk. 2% sounds like it should be served in a shot glass. If it's 2% milk, what's the other 98%, air? 
So I go inside, grab my nice, cold cow juice and some hard boiled eggs. I'm trying to watch my girlish figure, ya know. I head over to the "driver's lounge", which is basically a room with a t.v. and a bunch of truck drivers sitting around it talking about "well I woulda told that officer...", to see what's on. 

Oh goody, cars! Left turn, left turn, left turn... There are about 8 other truck drivers in there basically salivating over watching cars go in a circle. And here's where I sound unAmerican. "Hey, ya ever notice these guys really don't get anywhere because they're running in circles?"
I think one guy gave me the "stink eye" before asking, "you don't like stock car racing, boy?"
Well of course I have no problem watching traffic. I'm a truck driver; watching traffic is essentially our way of life. In real life we wish they would all move as quickly as these guys on TV. 
In fact, I'm watching these guys merge back into race traffic and thinking "so how come people ease onto the highway at 45, glaring at me like I'm the idiot in their way instead of them just gauging traffic and merging seamlessly?! Look! It CAN be done!" It amazes me how these guys can do it at what appears to be Mach 2 and regular folk can't do it at 65mph. 

So I had to wonder....they call it stock car racing. What's "stock" on these cars? Even the headlights are decals. I need ones that put off actual light. I don't need a LOT of light, but I'm not gonna drive just using "the force" at night either. 
The horsepower is insane and, quite frankly, I'm glad regular cars don't have anywhere near that amount. With the way normal folk drive, the number of traffic deaths would be exponentially higher. I've never in my life seen a car like these rolling down the freeway. Yet they're "stock"? What gives? 
Then something happens and I suddenly understand the draw. Two cars wreck at warp speed. Pieces fly this way and that. Debris, CARnage, cartastrophe (yes, I deliberately spelled it that way) at high speeds! It was awesome to watch. I get it now. 
It's not the RACE they're watching it for, it's the WRECKS. We are some twisted creatures I tell you. I was right there watching it with them, all slack-jawed watching and kinda giggling as I thought "CARtwheel!"  As "civilized" as we are we enjoy mayhem. 

If there's a wreck on the northbound side of the highway I can assure you there'll be another one on the southbound side in short order. Maybe even a few on both sides. We can't help it, we have to look. It's in our genetic makeup, I think. 
And they look as they're driving. Head turned full circle like a scene from "The Exorcist" as they go past. Sometimes so busy looking that they create their own accident. Bravo old chap. Job well done. Now you've screwed it up for the people behind you too. 

Is it our destructive nature? Let's be honest, what usually attracts the most attention? Something involving mayhem and destruction, or the building of a hospital?