Friday, April 22, 2016

"Too Stuffed"

Possessions. Materialistic things. "Stuff". It's amazing how these can drive people sometimes. Equally astounding is how human nature compels many people to give up intangibles in their quest for that "stuff". This post isn't designed to entertain you, it's designed to make you think. 
I used to post things that were for just that purpose. "Time to Rethink Time" was one of those early ones. Then I got away from it for some reason. Now I think it's time to sit back and share with you guys again the real discussions. If you're looking to laugh today then avert thine eyes. The rest of you....let's take a journey through the looking glass into society, shall we? 

Someone once said to me that it's not about finding the perfect love but about loving an imperfect person perfectly. I thought that was a sweet sentiment at the time. Then, of course, she left because she felt I couldn't provide her the lifestyle she wanted. Hey, Alanis, THAT'S irony. Unfortunately, money and stuff motivates most of us. 

So that "stuff" that drives many of us, what is it really? Earlier today I had a nice conversation with a female friend of mine whose name I shall leave simply as "C" for this post. During the course of the conversation she said "Lol. Good guys always get stepped on. Maybe you should write about this. Seriously. Women suffer from the grass is always greener syndrome. Nothing is ever good enough. Not sure why we are that way."  

Wow. A female who can admit there's an inequity here. Fascinating, right? So I responded "Because everyone thinks they deserve better. Humans are greedy creatures. They always want more. More anything. 
More "stuff" more attention more money. Just "more"....anything"

Turns out C actually feels that women are the worst offenders. (I promise you, folks, I'm not making this up.) As a guy I'd like to agree. But I can't. I don't think either gender is worse than the other. Men are just as bad about it. I can't say affairs are gender specific because that takes two people. Neither gender is more at fault. Humans. That's who I blame. Just humans in general with our greed and egocentric nature. 
In time these people who give up happiness in search of "better happiness" may realize their mistakes and learn to try to make do with what they're left with when they run out of options. Then they'll regret that they don't have what they could've had. They'll feel "stuck" because of it. 
It's a vicious cycle. Times have changed and this is how people are now. 

Someone once said to me "if it's broke, you fix it. People shouldn't break covenants or families"... (For the record here, I love that word "covenant" and it's biblical connotations) 

Ah...but there you encounter your problem. See, how can a broken society full of broken people NOT break things? We break promises, break ourselves and each other on a regular basis in search of that "better deal". We break shit; that's just what we do. Why do you think everything we buy comes with warranties and you can't buy love or happiness. Our society has been taught to look for better. They've been taught that they're "entitled" to what they've not earned of their own merit. 
Greed is the way of modern man. What we want we take by force if necessary. What we have we destroy. It's become engrained in our very psyche. Enough is never enough. 

We want more, we humans. We search for the better deal but fail to see that in the end what seemed "better" at first glance may not be. I've dated women who have "better dealed" me. Some more than once. That makes me a fool, right? Maybe. Maybe not. 

Hell, I'm guilty of it. I've "better dealed" people. Especially when I was in my late 20's and early 30's. Why? Because I was dumb. I was making more money than I had any business making at that age. I lived for the moment chartering fishing boats, taking off to New Orleans, Las Vegas or wherever for sometimes weeks at a time and paying way more than was probably necessary for hotels and bed and breakfasts there, just living like a fool. "Stuff" was more important to me than people were, than relationships were. And, ultimately, I lost everything and had to start over. By myself because I'd chosen "stuff" over people. I've had to start over a couple of times. The difference? I learned to value people more than "stuff" after that first fall from grace. 
I learned that value is subjective. I started giving freely of what I had even when what I had was meager. As a result, the next time I fell the fall was shorter. And, instead of just having trinkets I ended up having to sell, I had people who stood next to me. They provided me strength. They provided support even when my pride wouldn't let me ask for it. Because "stuff" has price tags but love, friendship and loyalty...those are beyond value. They're priceless. 

It's not the tangibles that matter to me in a relationship. I don't enter into one wondering what's in it for me. Nor do I care what the other party brings to the table. Too often people take for granted what's brought to the table. Not often enough do they recognize the importance of the fact someone is willing to even join them at that table. 

You can have your possessions, your trinkets and all your highly valued worldly possessions if that's what makes you happy. However, in the end you may be left alone at the table to admire them by yourself. Your shiny "stuff" will all you have to keep you company. When you're old and bent you'll have your baubles but no one to help you stand to admire them. 
In the end we humans are consumers. We consume everything we can. You see it on the news, in the papers, everywhere. People choosing "stuff"... Cars, houses, money, tangibles over meaningful relationships and love. We are the ultimate consumers. As such humans value prizes over all else. The irony in that is that in the pursuit of material happiness too many people consume the one thing that can truly enrich them for the rest of their lives. 

See...Life is what we make of it. 
Some people are "glass is half empty" people. Some are "glass is half full." 
Me, I know that air actually has matter and weight. Therefore...the glass is always full. The only thing that changes is the air to liquid ratio. Even a glass that appears to be empty is full of air. Breathe it in and make the best of it.