"Equally Screwed"

We live in a new America. One full of "equality and fairness". A progressively backward society wherein we have to be politically correct even when we don't know what that means. Just go with the flow and disregard the waterfall at the end of that river.

You know New York recently passed a law saying you can't call a guy "mister" if he feels he's female inside? It's a "transgender protection law". You can apparently actually be fined for addressing someone incorrectly. So that they can be treated "equally and fairly". 

We are all about "fair and equal" here in America. 

It's gotten to be absurd how "politically correct" we are. It's also ridiculous how worried we are about "being fair" when it's convenient. I'm so sick of the double standards. 

And now we've got this ludicrous "title 9" crap being shoved down our throat by Emperor Obama. Seriously?! Dude, just sit back, shut up and ride out the rest of your time until we finally replace your dumb ass, Obama. 

I'm sure you've heard of this stuff. Schools are being forced to supply bathrooms and locker rooms for "gender neutral" kids or lose their funding. These are kids, man. They can barely identify which CLASSROOM they belong in much less which gender they "identify" with. We're getting a bit carried away these days. 

What's worse is that everyone is so shortsighted. Has anyone considered the long term here? Look at the precedent being set. It won't be long before pedophiles use the defense "I'm just identifying with my inner child". Sound dumb? So does an 8 year old who barely learned to tie their shoes now demanding they are the opposite sex inside. 

Look, it's really simple. I've said it before. Look down. Which parts do you have? That's what sex you are. You're welcome. Once you become an adult, if you want gender reassignment surgery then save up and get it. Once you have the requisite parts then that's the bathroom you use. This isn't rocket science, people. 

I've heard people compare our practices to those in Europe. Didn't we have a revolution once because we aren't Europe? Coulda sworn that this was America. Oh wait... We've gotta try to be like Europe so everyone is equal. I forgot. So here's an idea: move to Europe. Then you won't have to fight for equality or anything. Europe's already got it all worked out and waiting for you. Go ahead, pack up and go. But just remember... Once you get there you no longer get those American freedoms and benefits you like so much. 

I see it all the time: people want everything America has to offer they just don't want it to be, you know, America. "Let's be like Canada, eh!" Or "look, let's be like Europe!" 

Well here's an idea, we already have a Canada and a Europe so go to whichever is your preference. Why try to turn America into NOT America? Why not just change your own citizenship instead of everyone else's? 

A few months back we had the Oscars and many people were upset over there not being enough minority actors nominated. Talent doesn't even factor in anymore apparently. Should we just nominate everyone that was in a movie? I'm pretty sure then people would bitch and moan over who wins too. Maybe they should all just get participation awards like they do for kids in sports these days. 

"You played a role in a movie? Well here's your little trophy. Run along now, Tiger." 

In the interest of "fairness" I propose we force MasterCard to change its name. We should call it something like "mediocrity card" now. Keep it middle of the road, ya know. 

Move into an apartment building? Everyone's locks should be the same. That way we get rid of a Master key and everyone is equal. MasterLock, sorry, you're gonna have to change your name too. Too many negative connotations in the word "master". 

All clothes will now need to be a standard beige color from now on. No more name brand labels. Can't let anyone feel bad that they can't afford a Michael Kors purse either. It's "not fair". Might make the non-affluent feel poor. 

While we're at it, let's make sure everyone earns the exact same wage. Keep everything equal. Doctors will make minimum wage. In fact, let's do away with degrees. Can't have the inequality of some people working harder for a good education and career than others. 

Am I getting carried away here? You betcha! But look at the direction we are going in. Everyone is constantly complaining about how unfair and unequal they get treated. Unless they actually get treated fairly. Then it's some kind of grand scheme against them. "No no, we should get special treatment. Don't just treat us like everyone else." Oh. So THAT'S what "fair and equal" is? My bad.

Instead of getting hired or not hired based upon your level of education, your abilities, appearance or qualifications you should get hired because to NOT hire you is discriminatory. Gotcha. But maybe my company just doesn't think someone with face tattoos and 8 inch holes in their ears is the image we want to portray professionally. 

Or maybe you didn't get hired to help people draw up contracts because you can't spell or speak proper English. 

Do I care if someone is gay, bi-sexual or transsexual? Nope. I really couldn't care less. Should they be denied an education or a right to work because of their sexual preference? Not at all. 

Should an employer be forced to hire unqualified people just to meet some stupid quota though? Nope. Should a baker be forced to make a cake for someone if he doesn't want to? Of course not. But that's what happens. Otherwise there's a discrimination issue. Yeah. That's why he started his own business, so he didn't have to be told what to bake. Good grief, people, stop your whining. Surely he's not the only person in town that can make a cake. Grab a damn box of Betty Crocker, go home, bake your own cake and shut the hell up already! 

I'm a truck driver. I haul freight. If I don't like the price I won't haul it. If I don't like where it's going I can turn down the offer. Shippers don't whine about it, "waaa...he doesn't like our cheap freight going to Oregon. He's such a meanie! We'd better scream discrimination and make him take it." Nah, they just hire another truck. Maybe someone who works cheaper. Maybe some truck driver who likes to hunt Bigfoot in his spare time. 

It really is just that easy. You think the Oscars are unfair? Watch Little House on the Prairie reruns instead. No one is forcing you to participate. Really, who cares? It's a trophy for being able to lie convincingly enough that people think you're someone else. Think about it. It's acting. It's basically professional lying. How do you know if they even care if they win? They might just be acting like they do. Most of them are even using fake names!