Monday, May 23, 2016

"This Memes War"

Lately my personal Facebook page has been inundated with these "I'm disabled and I bet no one will share my picture.." Or "little Timmy is sick. How many likes can he get.." Blah blah blah. C'mon, folks, seriously?! 
How come I've gotta be the heartless dude that doesn't "like" their pictures? It's not because they're disabled or facing an illness. I refuse to "like" them because I don't see what their condition has to do with the post. 

There's one going around with a picture of a woman in uniform stating if she gets enough "likes" her sergeant will send her back to the states and out of a war zone. Seriously?! Are people that stupid and gullible?! "I was at war but I got to come home because I'm popular..." 
Why don't we use that strategy for just ending the fight? We can post a meme that says "ISIS sucks and they're bad guys". If that post gets 100,000 "likes" then they'll just disband, go home and take up knitting. Sound realistic? I don't think so either but it's as realistic as the government sending a soldier home for meeting a "like" quota. 

Another of my favorites is this crap that LITERALLY says you're heartless if you don't share some stupid picture of a kitten or something. What's sharing a picture of a kitten gonna do?! Look, I happen to love cats. Slow roasted and basted in garlic butter maybe. With a side of cheesecake. Share it? Pfft... I want to trap it and eat it. 
"Little Billy has cancer. How many likes and shares can he get?" Seriously?! THAT'S the cure for cancer these days?! Knuckleheads. How about you just send him money for treatment? I bet that'd help him a lot more. 

"Share if you love Jesus. Keep scrolling if you love Satan..." So Buddhists don't get options now? It's either horns or halos. No middle ground for atheists or politicians, eh? 
I never know what to do there. I mean, I don't really hang out with Jesus or Satan so "love" seems a bit strong. Isn't there an option for "I'd hang out with?" Even then it's a tough choice. I mean, Satan is probably a hardcore partier but with Jesus if you run out of booze he can just magic some from some Aquafina. 
Seriously, though, you really think Jesus is up there checking out how many likes his meme got? "What's this? Susie from Omaha didn't type Amen?! Nah, this is some bs. Hey, Dad, take her name off the list." Then there's some discussion back and forth while they determine if little Susie should face eternal damnation or if she should just have a near death experience to get her thinking right again. It's stupid, folks. I've had satellite internet before, I know how crappy their connection has to be up there anyway. 

These memes just keep getting worse. There's usually one on my feed with a girl on it that's like "share if you'd hit that. Keep scrolling if you're gay..." Wait. What if she's just not my type? What if I'm already in a relationship? So you're telling me I've got to commit to cheating with some imaginary girl now? 
Every single meme demands a "like" a "share" or an "amen". Clearly I don't participate. Look, I'm all for social media but does it really have to turn into such drivel? God isn't counting "likes" before deciding who should live and die from disease. I'm pretty sure whether or not we share a picture isn't going to affect the outcome of the surgery. 

Which leads me to my next peeve. This "go fund me" thing. Some people set up a go fund me page to help with medical bills. To help with other legitimately important costs. Sure, I'm cool with that. After all, it's a liberal country where a large number of people think we should support everyone else anyway.  
Would I help people with medical bills? Sure. Legitimate ones. This "I want a sex change operation" stuff? I simply don't care. That's not life threatening. 

I've seen them all over the boards too. Like the chick who spent everything she had on lottery tickets and didn't win? She set up a page asking people to help her pay her bills because she wasted her money. Sorry, you're too irresponsible with money for me to give you some. Clearly. 
Another one? Oh, I loooove these... I've actually seen people set up pages to essentially fund their own stupidity or that of family members. Some dude in the Dakotas took out student loans become a massage therapist in a town with damn near no population. So he set up a page asking people to repay his student loans. Seriously? Nnnope.
Or the mother who set up a page asking people to pay her daughter's rent and other bills. Why? Because he daughter jumped off a roof, missed the pool and broke a bunch of bones. So now she's stuck in a wheelchair for 6 months. Poor thing. Should we help her? I think not. Bad choices don't deserve a reward. 

I thought about setting up a go fund me page and stating "because some of you people have more money than sense". But then that'd probably upset some people. Next thing you know I'm all depressed and have to go out drinking with Satan and Jesus to cheer up. Boy, I bet it'd be fun just to listen to them bicker over shots.