Panicdemic

So you’ve got an oversized mask that doesn’t really do shit for ya, the oversized nitrile or latex glove flapping around on just one hand, cell phone in the other, wearing flip flops, shorts and tank top. Congrats on being safe as possible. You’ve got this whole thing down. You probably also wear your mask in your car.  There’s a pandemic going on, ya know. 

You went into the store with it’s “one-way only” aisles and stock piled for the apocalypse, grabbing way more than you need to make sure there’s not enough left for anyone else.  Paid with a debit card that’s been in god knows how many machines, using your dominant hand because you already had that glove off so it didn’t get in the way while you were texting. Good thinking. Again, congrats on being super safe. You’ll likely just leave your cart sitting up against the car one space over as you unload it and just leave it there as you drive off.  Can’t be bothered to put it away... there’s a pandemic going on. 

Now that you’re all loaded up you’re done with the mask and glove so that’ll get tossed out right there in the parking lot.  You don’t carry biohazard waste bags with you and Walmart didn’t put any right next to your car for you, so what do they expect you to do with your disposable corona gear? Go ahead, just toss it on the ground. There’s a pandemic going on. 

Now you’ll get in your magic bubble of a car, put another mask on, zoom around texting, change lanes without signaling, cut across a few lanes to hit the turn you nearly missed while playing FarmVille and shit, and it’ll be ok if you cause an accident or kill someone because you’re “COVID FREE”.  Of course, there’s also a chance that you weren’t playing your game and you were just facebooking about how much we need to look out for others during this pandemic. That seems to be a popular thing to do too, either on Facebook or twitting. #hypocrite 

The most dangerous part of this flu, so far, has been the panic and paranoia. It’s like hoarders meets doomsday preppers out there. And the level of paranoia? Crazy. I wouldn’t be surprised if even Liberals are buying guns so they can pop off a few rounds at anyone who coughs. That’d be a sight to see... those “anti gun” people who can’t tell a trigger from a straw just trying to blam away. There’s a panicdemic going on. 

Of course, I’m surprised those Liberals haven’t lost their entire minds about the pseudo “social distancing” in home improvement places. People will get close enough to run your toes over with a buggy or elbow you out of their way in the aisle but freak out if you’re within 8 feet of them at the register. Trust me, if you’re gonna get this flu at the store, it’s not gonna be at the register. 

Egocentric, narcissistic assholes. If you’re honestly worried then just hermetically seal yourself at home and order everything online. Stay off the roads, out of the stores, and quit throwing your useless homemade “bio wear” on the ground.  I’m fine with you online crusader, real life hypocrites staying home year round every year.