Thursday, December 17, 2015

"Monkey See, Monkey Facepalm"

I'm catching the news tonight. The Weather Channel is on, reporting about a hurricane. Rain, flooding and the general bad stuff that hurricanes bring with. Lots of interesting stories related to the storms. 
A couple of items spotlighted were of people stuck in flood waters while trying to cross low water crossings. They should've been warned that water rushing across the road might cause a problem. What's that? There were barricades across the road and these people went around them? Huh. And they were caught by surprise by the water overtaking their cars? Hhmm. Maybe these people were just stupid. 

Firefighters were called out to rescue these people. One of the guys even used his cell phone to video his "harrowing experience". He had to climb a tree to wait for help. Him was scared. Aww. Poor dumb guy. 
He was cold and wet and worried that help may not come. Sadly, they did. Unfortunately they saved him. Why do I say unfortunately? Because while rescuers were helping this idiot other people may not have gotten the help they needed. People who actually needed rescuing from situations that weren't their own fault. Way to go, Noah. 

Seriously, if you go around warning barriers and risk getting swept away, you deserve it. No, I don't feel you should be saved. Darwinism. Those barriers are intended to thin the gene pool. They are WARNING barriers. If you have to be warned that your car wasn't built to cross the Nile then maybe you shouldn't be driving anyway. 
These morons may go on to breed and lower the collective intelligence of humanity. These guys are our weak links. They're responsible for dumbing down society. Please, just let them go. 

In fact, remove warning labels and outlaw lawsuits that are the result of stupidity. I saw a video on YouTube of some twit who announces she's going to drink a glass of bleach. She throws back the glass, there's a moment of silence then she starts screaming in pain calling for her mom. Really? Drinking bleach causes pain? It's not good for you? So that must be why I don't find it next to the milk at the grocery store. Dumbass. 
Another video I saw is from 3 years ago. I'm not even sure if it's real it's so moronic. A guy does a "bleach challenge" which, according to the video, results in him vomiting blood. I have no words for the idiocy of these people. I know the right thing to do is pray that he's ok. But I can't. I just find myself cheering for the bleach to win. 

Let nature sort these people out, please. Don't resist natural selection. And quit rewarding them for their stupidity!!! Don't award them millions of dollars for misusing things. Don't give them interviews or express sympathy. These people are idiots. 
You really want to reward these morons? Fine. Have a contest. Collect all these mental midgets and put them in the same room with chemicals and sharp pointy things. Whoever lives gets to loot the bodies of the losers. There, you got a prize. 

You know you see contestants on the news all the time. Sometimes you even see them walking around in the general public. Most often they end up on YouTube or some video show. You laugh at them. We all do. It's a natural response to stupid. 
Newsflash for you idiots that are the star of these videos...we aren't laughing at how awesome you are. We are laughing at how dumb you are. It's incredulous laughter, not awe. 

Ya know, I'm seriously beginning to think that this whole argument against evolution was started by monkeys. They don't want us to claim to be evolved from them. It's insulting to primates.