Monday, September 21, 2015

"You're Dead to Me"

Just laying around watching Ghost Hunters on TV. It made me wonder about a few things that don't make sense to me so I figured I'd share them on here. Maybe you folks will tell me I'm just being stupid. If so, that's alright I reckon. 
I'm usually the weirdo in the group. That guy who looks at things and starts trying to apply logic or reason to the situation. When I'm not busy laughing and making fun. 

Why would I be any different with this show, right? Of course I laughed. I even wished I was there to run up behind some of these guys in the dark and yell "boo". Just to watch them have a mini stroke or something. 
That would probably be cruel seeing as they have a pregnant girl on there as an investigator. It'd make for exciting TV if I scared someone into labor in a graveyard though. Tell me you wouldn't laugh a little. 

But here's where my questions start. Feel free to jump in with answers. First, why are ghosts so afraid of light? Every "paranormal investigation" I've seen so far has been at night with all the lights off. They walk around asking questions and chatting with the "ghosts" like, "I know it's hard for you to talk to us. I know you're not very trusting.." Seriously? Are they expecting Casper to sit down and discuss politics? Now THAT would impress me. 
"Howdy, living folks. I'm so glad you showed up. Can you give me a ride to the voting polls?"

Next question: back to the lights. We are living and afraid of the dark, I guess the dead are scared of the light? Why is that? I watched a couple of episodes, to be sure it was consistent. Every episode I watched, they'd have all the lights on while they set up then they'd turn them all off to investigate. They'd only investigate at night and walk around with some flashlights. Just a couple hours at night. 

One episode, at Fort Ontario in New York, they say "well maybe he doesn't know he's dead". Didn't they watch Beetlejuice? The dead get handbooks. These ghosts know they're croaked. Dude, you're wandering around a graveyard. Do they think the ghosts are walking around, seeing the graves and going "wow. That's weird, these graves weren't here when I laid down. How long was I asleep?"

At Magnolia Plantation in South Carolina: "people have reported the place settings being moved." Why not just set up a FLIR camera and leave it record for a week? Show us some freaky shit. 
I'd be all "it's night now, you can come out. Here ghosty, ghosty, ghosty. C'mon." Now I'm not saying that'd do the trick but it seems as effective as what they're doing. 

Instead they just wander around in the dark with flashlights. "I saw a shadow over there." No shit, it's dark. When you shine lights around you create shadows. How can you explain ghosts when you are amazed that lights in the dark create shadows? 

One of my favorite lines was from an episode at an old shoe factory in New Hampshire. A place called Topstone Mill. One of the investigators says, "if you can hear us and we can't see you, that means you're dead." Really? So they're dead AND stupid? Maybe the dead folks are saying "if you can't hear me or see me you're deaf and blind. And possibly dead."

Wouldn't it be cool if they proved these ghosts were real and capable of moving stuff? If they can't actually move stuff then they'd only have the entertainment value of a movie. 
Yeah, that'd be kinda fun to watch but I want the ghosts that move stuff. So what if they only do it at night, I can live with that. You leave your "denizen of the dark" buddy a note and wake up in the morning and your oil has been changed. For free since they don't need money. Pretty awesome, right?