Friday, September 4, 2015

"Hoe Tell Sicks"

It's 2:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. Not because I'm not tired but because I've grown paranoid. Not like "crazy, foil hat wearing" paranoid, just regular paranoid. That and because today has just been a generally crazy day.
I've just recently started really working on cleaning my truck and trying to keep it clean. I'm not saying it's gonna be featured in Better Trucks and Gardens or anything but I've definitely been putting in a lot of effort to clean it up. 

While my truck is busy getting an attitude adjustment at the shop to go with its new look, I'm laid up in a hotel again. Normally this would mean I'm mostly just laying around in bed but I can't this time. In fact, I'm considering sleeping standing up. Maybe I should see about just renting a stall at a local stable. I've a feeling I'd be more comfortable that way anyway. I like oatmeal, raw oats can't be too bad. 

Instead, the shop recommended a Motel 6 about a half mile away. They know that we drivers are going to be into them for thousands of dollars so they send us to hotels/motels that are inexpensive. I'm guessing it's their way of helping us save enough to be able to eat. 
The Motel 6 right next to the strip club. "Inexpensive" they called it. Clearly a nice way of saying "cheap and questionable". As the guy pulled up to the office and offered to wait to make sure they had rooms I responded "well, if they don't right now I'm sure they will when someone's hour is up." The driver chuckled but I was serious. 

There were strippers walking to work, some apparently exercising between trips to the main stage (no one dresses like that in public this far from a beach or nudist colony), and several people with markers and cardboard on the sidewalk. I'm fairly certain there was even a guy picking through an ash tray. It was like being in front of a methadone clinic. 

I should've known it was a bad sign when the guy behind the 2" bulletproof glass that serves as a front desk was wearing a shirt identifying him as maintenance. Considering he openly informed me that he had to help me through the window because he couldn't get the main door open, I doubt he was very good at maintenance. However, I needed a room so hopefully he could manage that much. 

"Smoking or non-smoking?" Non, please. "One bed or two?" One is fine. "Here ya go, room 214. That'll be $38.49 after tax." Okey dokey. "Did you want wi-fi? That's another $3.25." Whaa? Um. Nah, I'll be alright. Thanks though.  (I reckon a good sign a hotel is sketchy is when they charge extra for wifi. Hell, it's even free at McDonald's).
Up to my room I went. Along the way I noted that this hotel didn't smell so great. Maybe it was just my imagination though. What wasn't my imagination was the girl knocking on my door a short bit later asking if I'd "like some company." No. A pizza would be nice though. Got one of those? 

So I'd decided I'd just be a shut in. I had some water and I could wait til morning to worry about feeding again. I'll just chill here in bed, read and watch tv and ignore anything beyond the walls of this room. 
About fours hours pass as I just veg out and read my book so I finally lay my clean clothes out on the foot of the bed....shower time! 
I spend at least 20 minutes standing under the hot water letting it wash the stress of the day down the drain. Nice, fresh clean clothes and I'm laying in bed finishing the last 2 chapters of my book. 

Suddenly I see movement out of the corner of my eye. What's this? There's something crawling across the blanket. Cautiously I get up and go grab one of the plastic cups and capture the rogue beast. A quick internet search confirms my fears. It's a bed bug. Uh oh. 
I take my company downstairs to the front desk and inform them I'm tired of unwanted visitors as I set the cup on the counter. All I want is a full refund. It was nice that she informed me the hotel was booked full but I had no interest in staying. So she gave me a full refund. 

So here I am in my new room at a different hotel. I've pulled all the sheets off the beds, looked under the mattresses, gone through my backpack twice and taken another shower. Yet I'm still kinda paranoid about falling asleep and being chewed on. Or getting bedbugs in my truck. No more cheap hotels for me. Nope. 

One thing I did find interesting about this came from the discussion I had with the hotel manager from the new hotel I checked into. Her advice to me? "Well, that happens regardless of hotel room prices. And you've gotta be careful about hotels in downtown areas because they get the most tourists and Europeans bring bedbugs with them." Wait. You're saying they carry bedbugs with them from overseas? You mean like pets? They put little collars on them and shit? So what, they put them in little cat carriers and ship them over with their luggage? This one didn't have a collar so I guess he was a stray. Xenophobe much, lady? 

Yes, I'm sure there are unfortunate incidents at all hotels. However, I'm pretty sure that at the Ritz-Carlton random sleazy dressed women don't knock on your door looking to make some cigarette money. Nor are there bedbugs up playing poker and doing shots. I'd think if I need to call the humane society to clear the room in advance of my arrival then those pricier hotels wouldn't charge as much.