Monday, May 11, 2015

"The Illuminati Uncovered.."

You speak of the "Illuminati" as though it's some evil cult bent on world domination. 
It's a whispered about group that was intended to shed light and enlightenment and uncover truths. Quite the opposite of what you seem to claim. 
Yes, there was a Bavarian group back in 1776. A secret group. Which is kinda weird...they're secret but we know where they were from and when they formed. That doesn't sound too secret. So what was their purpose? Enlightenment. Hhmm. Sounds pretty "sinister", shedding light on truths and whatnot. Scary stuff. Long before that there was talk of the Illuminati. Maybe they just borrowed a clever name. Either way, they apparently disbanded long ago. 

You say things when someone shares posts from the "Illuminati"'s Facebook page. Like a centuries old, hidden, ultra secret group has an actual Facebook page. 
So secret no one can prove they still exist...yet the Facebook page titled "Illuminati" must really be them. Sure. Oh, and those uplifting quotes I've seen on their site...oh no, that uplifting stuff is out of control! The motivational stuff? Positively evil I tell ya. 

And there's this whole new trend about people talking about the "evil" Illuminati. I still don't understand how a group that was supposed to be about "enlightenment" is now an "evil organization bent on world domination". Those are polar opposites. 
Here we have a page where someone is out to prove that the Illuminati controls the Grammys. Personally I like that Billy Idol wore a medallion that "was almost definitely a secret cult emblem of some kind." Sounds very...scientific and well-researched. One would think that they could narrow it down a little more than "almost definitely...of some kind". Hhmm. Maybe it's just guesswork. 

In fact, the entire article is sheer conjecture. Yet there are mindless sheep that swear by it and if you point out the holes in the theory then you're "brainwashed by the Illuminati". Please, people. I assure you that if anyone wanted to brainwash me it wouldn't be the Illuminati. A few of my past shrinks? An ex girlfriend or ex wife? Maybe. 

See, I'm noticing that it's mostly the über religious that are buying into this Illuminati stuff. Which puts me in an awkward position because then we get into religion. For the sake of my Christian friends, (meaning religious, not meaning me personally), I try to avoid religious posts because I'm certain to offend many of you when I start pointing out inconsistencies in the Bible. 

I promise you the Illuminati isn't "bent on world domination". Walmart might be. Probably is. But that's a different story. I mean, let's face it, have you seen our society and our world? It could probably use some control anyway. 
Is this phantom Illuminati just a grand "catch all" for people that really want there to be a deeper explanation for everything? There's all this amazing symbolism on the dollar bill. Oh no. So U.S. currency is evil? Is that the same currency you use to pay your tithes? Your preachers? Your millionaire evangelists and t.v. ministers? 

Interestingly, the church doesn't pay taxes in the United States. In fact, when people talk about that "richest 1%" do they not realize how rich the churches are? How much land they own? You do realize the Catholic Church is one of the wealthiest entities in the world, right? Not just in the United States but GLOBALLY. One of the most powerful people on the planet is the Pope. 
So, if I understand this, the Illuminati is "the evil elite bent on controlling the world". Yet the most powerful entity, the top of the "elite" list is the church. 

Let's review here...
The "Illuminati" is an ultra secret group. The Pope is selected in an ultra secret ceremony. So secretive we only know it's finished when they burn a certain colored smoke. 
The "Illuminati" was designed to shed light on truths. The Catholic Church says the Bible is "the light of God". 
The "Illuminati" is part of the top 1%. The Catholic Church is in the top 1% and even has its own country. Vatican City is a country, by the way. The treasures held within its catacombs and museum are priceless. 
The "Illuminati" is bent on world domination. The Pope is one of, if not THE, most powerful people on the planet whose very words can control the actions of hundreds of millions globally. 
The "Illuminati" uses symbolism. The Catholic Church uses symbolism. The crucifix is a symbol, isn't it? A very powerful one. The Pope's hats and robes are symbols. That's why he has so many different hats, they signify different things. Is there a pattern developing here? 

Wait...wait...are you saying the Pope is part of the "evil" Illuminati? Do you think he knows? Imagine how upset all those Christians are gonna be when they do the math. It only makes sense. You can't talk about "the elite" but pick and choose which ones you want to include. 
Here people are throwing out "it's the Illuminati" for everything they want to find a way to blame them for. Get a rock chip in your windshield? Damn Illuminati. Heartburn? The Illuminati must've messed with your Chinese take away. It's getting ridiculous. Maybe Beyonce wasn't controlled by the Illuminati. Maybe her show just kinda sucked. 

Bottom line is, don't get carried away with your brand of crazy. I've got the market cornered when it comes to crazy and I don't like competition. Believe me, not everything on the Internet is true. You know this because I'm telling you. Since you are reading this on the Internet you know I'm telling you the truth.