Thursday, April 9, 2020

Living the DreamWorks

Ok, folks, I’ve stayed away long enough. I’ve not posted in a long time but I just can’t stand it anymore. Every day I see the insanity just increase and I can’t help but laugh when I’m out in public now. 

Used to be that when people looked at me like I’d just grown a dick out of my forehead I figured I’d said something out loud again. These days I get that look because I’m not walking around in biohazard gear, homemade or otherwise. Because that seems to be the new dress code. I’m half expecting to see top fashion designers displaying their “high fashion gas masks” soon. 

I go to Publix and the aisles are all “one way” now with arrows on the floor and everything.  Cashiers in surgical masks and gloves, customers in surgical masks, using bandanas as masks, or any other homemade concoction they can think of. Best part? The large majority are using them with big ole gaps in the sides or  only half right. Not sure what they’re trying to prevent but it damn sure isn’t this flu. 

Quick tip... bandanas and surgical masks don’t keep you from catching a cold. They’re great for your pollen allergies but not super for cold prevention. So you wore a cheesy mask all half-assed. Good on ya.  Did you sanitize all your groceries? Did you sanitize the gas pump? Your money and cards? Your paper towel and toilet paper packages? You know, the ones you hoarded in case you shit yourself to death as a result of fear and paranoia. 

Did you sanitize the tabloids you picked up? You know, the ones that told us Tom Hanks has COVID and is going to tell us about his “brave struggle”.  People are paranoid because of how many people have this flu or have died as a result but Tom Hanks getting it? That’s earth shattering news! Now we know he’s human. And the world keeps spinning. 

We won’t need actors anymore anyway because it’s kinda like we’re living in a movie these days. The first week or so after America began freaking out the stores looked like they’d had a going out of business sale. Even guns and ammo flew off the shelves. (Bet that pissed off the Democrats). 

I had to order ammo online and paid twice what I normally do. I just wanted to be able to play at the range. Are we prepping for an apocalypse? Or are we just all getting ready to hunt for our food because hoarders are emptying the stores? If so, maybe we should start our hunting with these people who are buying out things just so they can price gouge for these things online. 

Sorry. I’ve gone on long enough this time. I’m sure I’ll be back soon to talk about how crazy things are becoming. The crazy just keeps amplifying because of this cold that’s going around. 

1 comment:

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